Quality of life Offenses

Arrested for drinking a beer.

After taking away my beer, the cute-but-weathered strawberry-blonde lady cop who arrested me put me in a van with two other quality-of-life violators: an old homeless Polish man named Bogden, and a seventeen-year-old black kid named Kevia. Both were arrested for “outstretch”: taking up more than one seat on the subway, or lying down on the seats.

We sat in the van for two hours while officers tried to round up another “body,” as they’re called, for the night’s sweep. “Doin’ a big sweep on quality-of-life offenses,” I heard the baldheaded, babyfaced male cop tell someone on his cellphone. He talked with my arresting officer:

“Billy’s officially ruined the unit. It’s ovah. It’s completely ovah.” He shook his head.

“He’s the only what who really believes in what we do, though,” the lady cop sighed.

In Full: What I Learned in Jail Last Night

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